Top Ten Screen Time List for Kids and Parents

Many thanks to Dr. Lee Hildebrand, director of Lakeshore Psychology Services in Mequon, for speaking to Forward Ozaukee on “Screen Time: What Parents Need to Know for Themselves and Their Children.” During his talk, he shared a “top ten” list of things for kids and for adults.

Ten tips for Screen Time with Kids:

1.) Delay giving smartphones to kids. Even if they complain that everyone else has them, explain back: “We’re not everybody. We’re the [family name].”

2.) Focus on academics/developmentally appropriate learning (such as Minecraft).

3.) Model healthy electronic use-you set the example! Kids will often imitate what they see more than they will listen to what you say, so make sure your actions are speaking louder than your words!

4.) Plug phones in elsewhere. The blue light and stimulation issue with sleep can be avoided by avoiding the phone when you are in bed. If you plug it in away from where you are, you will be less tempted to look at it. Keep those devices out of sight-out of mind!

4.) Choose a time to ALL UNGPLUG. (Board game, bocce, football, etc) Be creative in ways you can have fun together! Family meal time is an extremely important, but often overlooked, time to connect.

5.) USE PARENTAL CONTROLS. Daily screen time for devices, filters on the home internet, filters on apps, phones etc. Some parental controls recommended were:
-Bark (https://www.bark.us/)
-Aura (https://www.aura.com/)
-Mspy (https://www.mspy.com/)
-Norton (https://us.norton.com/)
-eyeZy (https://www.eyezy.com/01)

6.) Encourage other activities. Don’t over schedule!! Pick one or two and follow through on being committed to those. (For example, one musical activity and ONE sport.)

7.) Keep bedrooms screen free. (See notes on Number 4.)

8.) Set limits. Ages 2-5 need < one hour. Older kids need a daily TWO HOUR LIMIT. Parent intentionally for success!

9.) Establish other screen free zones (mealtime dinner table or kitchen!!). Collect all devices so that NO ONE (even adults!) are tempted to answer a text or email during the meal! (https://lakeshorepsychologyservices.com/blog)

10.) REVIEW THEIR USE. It is NOT overbearing to say “I love you too much to NOT check in.”

For Adults:

1.) Intentionally establish apps-are they adding value to my life and time? If you delete an app you spend too much time on, aside from FOMO (fear of missing out) is there any problem with removing that app? What times of day do I not need to be on my device?

2.) Set firm boundaries. It is OKAY to say NO! “No, I can’t play that game online as it is family night.” “No, I can’t respond to that email later as I have my phone off so that I can spend time with my spouse.” Stick to your boundaries-they are FIRM!

3.) Cordon off a work space. Have a location for screens that are related to work so that you have a healthy work/life balance. You won’t be tempted to check on work if it isn’t staring at you in the living or dining rooms!

4.) Set screen-free time with family. That could be one night a week specifically, or a specific time nightly such as family meal time! Collect all the devices into a basket so that no one is tempted by their device and you can converse and interact together as a family.

5.) Find pleasure elsewhere-adults also get the dopamine hit from the likes and clicks so find other ways to experience that-join a group offline, exercise, read a book, etc.

6.) We all need pleasure, soothing, feel-goods but we need to be intentional with how we get that good feeling. Think ahead-try to get as much soothing with the fewest amount of side effects. Be proactive, especially if you know you have a stressful week and would otherwise be spending 6 hours streaming shows on a Friday night. What can you do earlier in the week to relax and help ease that stress?

7.) Get physical! The best natural drug is to move our bodies. Exercise or physical activity has so many physical and emotional benefits! The deadliest place in America is the couch-get up and move!

8.) Join trusted friends or family members who can help you stay screen free. Hang out and have fun!!

9.) If you have struggles, don’t be afraid to seek counsel! (https://lakeshorepsychologyservices.com/)

10.) Don’t be afraid of accountability in life! Keep yourself and your family members accountable. Help your children learn good habits-you don’t have to dictate their life, but you can help to direct their game. Be an important part of their life!!

Kim Komando has a free download for parents and kids to have and keep a screen time agreement. Find out more on her website, https://www.komando.com/.

CommonSenseMedia has reviews on TV shows, movies, books, video games from parents and kids for parents and kids. They also have templates for family agreements. Check it out! https://www.commonsense.org